The Thread of Light
Survivor Yemaya, Jen Eckard 2017 purchase
I am pansexual, non binary, a survivor of sexual assault and abuse, and I am a deeply spiritual person.
These are aspects of myself that I feel I have to “come out” about, in response to the pressure of shame and fear that incessantly try to push them back down into the darkness; both in my own psyche, and in my interactions with the world around me.
These are all things that I’ve learned to hide, because I believed that it was not safe to be open about them.
But I am coming to understand that it may actually be safer for me to be open, than to keep pushing these parts of myself down into the shadow.
It is safer for my inner life, certainly. And perhaps even, counter-intuitively, for my outer life, as well. Even during these uncertain times. Especially during these uncertain times.
Does my silence protect me? Or does it just prevent those who care about me from knowing who I am, and what I need? Doesn’t my silence separate me from others in vulnerable groups, and allow my friends and family to go on thinking that they don’t know and love anybody who is “like that”? And therefore, they don’t need to do anything to help us?
And doesn’t my silence separate me from myself, and the source of power deep within me?
Consider: How do we create the world that we want to live in?
Perhaps, by first imagining our boldest dream of how the world could be, and then living as though that dream were a reality.
Rise Up, Jen Eckard 2017 purchase
In that case, we must start with the dream. The dream of a world worth living in…a world worth fighting for.
My dream is to live in a world where people take care of each other out of love.
A world where women and gender nonconforming people are safe. A world where people of all colors are safe. Where people of all religions are safe. Where we can each enjoy living out our own innate destiny; freely following the inner wisdom which tells us who we are, and who we are to become.
We all have a choice now: will we crumble under the pressure of this oppressive leadership? Will we turn out our lights, lock our doors, and hunker down: Pretend that no one is home, as if that would somehow protect us?
Or will we unfold our deepest potential? Will we grow ever stronger in our certainty of who we are, and what we are here on Earth to do?
Will we resist, by our very example of how we live: In love, in vibrant aliveness, in strong and firm resolve to follow our inner moral code?
Darkness is pushing down upon us, and we can collapse underneath it.
Or, we can push back. We can take this as an opportunity to strengthen all of our muscles. We can use this resistance to build a stronger, more resilient heart, a fiercer, brighter mind; a clearer, more distilled sense of purpose.
Here is the guidance that I have received from the source of wisdom inside:
The Source, Jen Eckard 2017
Relax, it’s just a crumbling democracy, and a revolution.
Relax into this process. It is happening.
Use the meditative process called RAIN:
It is an acronym for Recognize, Accept/Allow, Investigate, Non-Identify.
Recognize the situation that we are in.
Accept that this is what we are living right now. Allow it. It is happening. Live with it.
As in: Be Alive Within It.
Investigate: What, exactly, am I feeling, thinking, seeing, hearing, reading?
What kind of mental and emotional responses are arising in response to that stimulus?
Remember that every phenomenon is a passing experience: A flicker on a screen; a leaf floating by on a river.
There is nothing personal, permanent, or truly threatening about it.
Because when nothing is permanent, or personal, then nothing can ever be truly threatening.
Fear is a response to an illusion that there is permanence, and that there is a solid, separate, lasting “me”.
Without these illusions, there is no problem with the passing leaves-
Even leaves of pain, leaves of suffering.
They are what they are. They are experiences passing by, never to be seen again.
There is almost a sense of preciousness that arises with this view. A strange sense of the preciousness of this moment, even when this moment contains pain, fear, despair.
This moment, this experience, is the pearl of the world.
Is the Fantastic Dream.
Who would have ever dreamed up this dream?
Epic. Wild. Heartbreaking. Soaring.
There is a thread of light in everything, and you must follow this thread.
This thread of light will lead you to the truth. To the underlying source of boundless love.
Shining out from the crack beneath the door:
Always Radiant, Pure, Unblemished.
The Effulgent, All-Loving
Presence of God:
Not a person,
Not an idea, not an image.
A primordial force of life,
and source of all-that-is:
The SUN of the universe.
The SUN of existence…
Pull me ever closer to you.
(I was able to give this because I received first. Thank you to the teachers on Dharma Seed, and Rae, and Vici, and Tenzin.)